innerspace

I listened to a interview on an internet yoga radio show called Yogapeeps today with the female yoga instructor Sadie Nardini.
Anyone who knows me personally would know that yoga has been a large part of my life for some time, both in my personal practice and in teaching others. Once in a while I enjoy hearing the perspective of other "modern-day yogis" even when (or especially when) their particular yoga style is different from mine. I find it helps me stay broad in my understanding of what's out there.

Today something in this radio interview struck me very deeply. Sadie spoke about finding your "core" message in life. This core (nice yoga term by the way) is basically the message you offer to the world by your very existence. This sounds pretty vague and vast but if you look closely at patterns in your creative life and personal pursuits, you may find that many roads lead to a common direction. She described her message and how the points she stresses in her yoga class and her marketing center around these points and around her central teaching. She also said that she can tell when a yoga teacher is "in touch with his/her core" when reading the description of the yoga class. This made me start wondering what my core message is, and whether or not it is being expressed?

I sat in my art studio/room and glanced over the paintings on the wall and framed photographs leaning against my desk. I thought about my yoga and martial arts practices. I thought about my interest in further study in radiography and the facination I have as a photographer with imaging the inside of the body. Then I thought about this blog and the "innerspace doodles" and I suddenly felt closer to realizing what i've been drawn to and what my subconscious has been expressing -- an innerspace reality.

I have been characterized before (especially in my earlier post college years) as one of those dreamy, inner world, slightly dorky, dark hair and glasses kind of girl. I resented of course the simplification and catorization of these labels and somehow came to a conclusion that "growing up" meant living in the "real world". With the years I felt my innerspace drift to the background and the "day to day" come more into the present. Reassing this now, I see that being present requires embracing both realities -- and that the "inner" is too often overlooked, unestimated, and not fully understood.

Science now in the "real world" has been confirming the mystery of physical reality more and more and showing how even at the smallest atomic levels most things are made of an almost immeasurable inner space. For me, seeing inside and making contact with this innerspace drives most of what I do and I find that many of my doodles seem to express this as well. In the end, I feel that integration of the outer and the inner is the point I keep aiming towards.